Poor Old Shelly
Shelly has been married to the same man for twenty-five years. Shelly's husband Russ is a very good looking man with a broad smile, dark blue eyes and a personality that always outshined her own, which was extremely charming though sometimes senseless. Russ is six years older than Shelly, and having children from another marriage, he was not interested in having children with Shelly.
Before they married Shelly agreed to go without children for Russ. Shelly, after caring for his children, wanted to have a child with Russ and tried many times to discuss it. He refused and informed Shelly, quite brutally, that she's not cut out for motherhood. Deeply in love with her husband she tries to renegotiate, but he never budges. Afterward, Shelly always questioned her fitness as a mother; Shelly doesn't have any children of her own.
Shelly never really understood how she felt about anything, not truly, and generally oscillated between happiness and an odd depressed state without knowing why. When feeling good, there's nothing Shelly could not accomplish and felt confident. Then the shift would happen and Shelly would feel depressed or vulnerable, this was an unattractive quality to her husband, but with all her other attributes it was worth the trouble........for a while.
When Shelly turned 50 and went through menopause she gained a lot of weight, which troubled Shelly deeply. However, Shelly felt comfortable in her marriage and didn't believe her husband was one to leave her or cheat over the change in her figure. Over the years she and Russ had sexual adventures together. Shelly often the assertive one liked pushing sexual boundaries. She and Russ had sex with two other couples in the space of two years, and in addition Shelly once had sex with both Russ and his friend Jack.
Though the sexual experiences were fun for Shelly and Russ, one did leave Shelly emotionally exposed when she and Russ had a swap with her friend and her husband. After the swing night with Shelly's close girlfriend and her husband Todd, Russ called Sandy the next day. Shelly didn't get a call from Todd, her friend's husband. Shelly found it not only inappropriate but demeaning that her husband called her friend. That deep down Russ preferred Sandy's cunt to her own cunt. Yet another new insecurity lumped onto Shelly's psyche, which made her feel inferior. But Shelly always blamed herself for the situation, and though she told Russ it was inappropriate he simply made the excuse of being a good concerned man. Shelly, wanting so desperately to believe him, convinced herself that it was true and dismissed the truth Shelly knew and desperately wanted to escape.
After menopause Shelly had difficulty with sex, which had been always good through their entire marriage. Penetration was uncomfortable because Shelly was dry. But with lubricant, they were able to push through, so to speak, and she was able to keep her husband happy. After a while Shelly had lost interest in sex. She didn't like that she couldn't get wet on her own because it decreased the spontaneity of their sex, which was usually initiated by her husband.
Hearing from a friend of a friend about bio-identical hormone replacement therapy, Shelly sought medical attention. Shelly found that her hormone levels were non-existent. Her doctor asked Shelly how sexual she'd been when she was young and Shelly explained she had been a very sexual person.
Shelly began doing Hormone Replacement Therapy. It took a while for it to kick in, but Shelly began to feel sexual again. In addition, Shelly began losing weight and by the following year lost almost half the weight she gained during and after menopause. As Shelly continued to lose weight and feel sexual again she began thinking about all the fun she and Russ had when they were young. And in an effort to recapture and reignite some passion it may be a good idea to maybe bring another couple into the bedroom. Shelly discussed it with Russ and he eagerly agreed, almost too much for Shelly's liking.
So they began to search for some new stimuli in the bedroom, looking for something to help them get back to the heightened sexual expression of their youth. The opportunity did not present itself right away.
Shelly continued to lose weight, but became increasingly unhappy with her body. Things weren't going back to where they were before. Shelly wasn't sure what to do, never completely at ease in her own skin, she spent most of her life hiding her insecurities with an ability to fake confidence when necessary. Only a select few knew of Shelly's insecurities, and not one person knew all of her secrets.
By the following year Shelly was down to her original weight and she looked perfect in clothes. Luckily her legs went back to shape, though she did notice a few dimples in her behind that just weren't there before. Fortunately for Shelly her prized waist returned, but she had excess skin now and though it was not hideous, Shelly felt her insecurities heighten. Always comfortable in every sexual position, Shelly got on the bed and looked at her body using the large mirror in the master bedroom to inspect her body.
Staring into the mirror, Shelly looked at her face first then took a deep breath mustering the necessary courage to face her body. Though her breasts still felt good, when she faced the mirror in on all fours she gasped. To Shelly her breasts were shaped like a tube, fleshy masses that were slender and long with downward facing nipples. Never completely comfortable with them even young, they were now completely misshapen in Shelly's eyes. Shelly critiqued her body in all of the old positions, and it made her heart sink. Shelly no longer possessed a shred of body confidence.
Shelly didn't want to give up, but short of surgery she'd never be who she was physically. Shelly didn't know how to feel, but she felt frightened. Shelly was very intelligent, but could be silly often misunderstanding her own assessments of life and love, unable to separate or compartmentalize her emotions.
She bought some sexy lingerie figuring she can work around her imperfections. She wanted it to be like it was, and Shelly was going to do everything in her power to make it so. She began working out and the dimples on her ass disappeared. No matter how hard she tried the little bit of excess skin around her midsection was inescapable and her breasts still looked completely misshapen. She worked with the new lingerie, wearing the bra and only revealing her breasts while atop the bra, which gave them a small boost. Shelly reassessed and with the lingerie again tried different positions in the bed reanalyzing everything. Shelly felt a little more confident.
Shelly had forgotten about the talk she and Russ had about starting sexual adventures again, but one evening Russ brought up the subject again. She'd gone through so much these last two years and wasn't sure if she was completely ready for a new adventure feeling she'd jumped the gun. But since she'd suggested it, she felt obligated and couldn't turn back.
Russ worked for a larger company that threw lavish Christmas parties every year. Shelly's company did not, but they always attended his. Shelly didn't go the last two years as she was just ashamed of her appearance and didn't feel up to it. But with the hormones and weight loss Shelly believed that she was moving in the right direction, so she bought a new dress and really went all out this year.
Shelly got home early and prepared herself for her husband's company Christmas party with the desire to make her husband proud of her. She could still put herself together and her face was still very beautiful she looked spectacular that evening. It was a great night and she and Russ had a wonderful time.
He introduced her to some of the people that began with the company when Shelly did not attend the last two years. Jerry was a sweet middle aged accountant who was very congenial and looked at Shelly like she was a goddess, which made her feel good but not amazing. Then Russ introduced her to Amanda. Amanda was 32 and a relatively new sales associate working her way up the ladder. Amanda was beautiful, almost a version of Shelly twenty years ago but with green eyes instead of blue. Shelly never felt jealous, maybe suspicious but never jealous. Amanda was cordial and was kind to Shelly and Shelly reciprocated. But something seemed off and Shelly couldn't shake the feeling.
When she and Russ arrived home that night they had a drink and feeling good went to bed together. Though Shelly was unable to get completely wet, she had the lube nearby and was able to quickly apply it as not to disturb the mood. They made love that night with more passion than any time in the last two years. Shelly woke alone, but felt good about last night. She got up and showered, did her hair and make-up and dressed in one of her small size jeans with a black turtle neck and kitten heel booties.
After she got ready Shelly looked in the mirror and felt good, then while staring at her reflection she was suddenly struck with a sense of panic. Shelly didn't know where it came from, but it was there. It was the off feeling from last night only amplified. It reminded her of something, but again Shelly can't place it.
Shelly needed to get out of the house, so she asked Russ if he wanted to go out tonight and he agreed. They decided to go to a local restaurant and not a chain, which had a nice bar area and they decided to eat in one of the nice booths located in the bar. Shelly relaxed and thought she looked good, but Russ didn't pay her a compliment about her appearance. They ordered drinks and their food before Shelly excused herself and went to the restroom to urinate and check her reflection in the mirror. The ill feeling from earlier returned again in the mirror, ebbing into Shelly and immersing her with doubt. She fought against it as best she could, but it wasn't leaving.
When Shelly returned, Russ standing at the bar speaking to someone. As Shelly walked around she saw that it was Jerry from the office. As Shelly approached Jerry she noticed Amanda sitting at the bar on the other side of Jerry. She was watching the big screen and was not participating in the conversation with Russ and Jerry. Shelly was caught off guard by Amanda. She didn't expect to see her and was emotionally alarmed. Jerry stepped away and Russ moved toward Amanda and began speaking with her. Jerry rejoined Russ and Amanda and it looked as if they were in discussion over work.
Shelly never felt as alone in her entire life as she did right now, but she didn't understand why. She gestured to Russ from her location that she was returning to the table. He gave her a nod and returned to his conversation. Shelly looked down and realized that she was standing four steps back from the group. She'd never moved up to gather with them, knowing intuitively that somehow she didn't belong.
Shelly sat down and as Russ saw their food arrive he returned to the table to eat with Shelly. Though Shelly felt sad but acted outwardly happy as a defense, her animation bordering on undignified, Shelly was unable to see it. Jerry and Amanda remained at the bar and Shelly and Russ enjoyed their meal from the booth.
Shelly thought she was going crazy, but felt like Russ was eyeing Amanda. But Jerry was sitting there and the TV was in front of them. She couldn't tell what was going on and felt a sudden as if she couldn't grab onto anything, any thought that reassured her. Still consumed by her own feelings she was able to settle herself and ratchet down her animation returning to a natural state. She was still unable to read anything, including her husband.
Eventually Jerry wandered over to the table a little tipsy, but not drunk. He sat down next to Russ and the discussed work. Shelly got the idea that she needed another drink and ordered a vodka tonic finishing it rapidly. Shelly ordered another vodka tonic and sipped it more slowly feeling calmer, but the booze was starting to take hold. She finished her second post dinner drink and ordered a coffee to offset the woozy feeling. Shelly was contented after the drinks, the stupid things she thought of disappeared, and though not in complete command of her surroundings she was able to converse normally.
Eventually Amanda wandered over to the table. Jerry got up and moved to sit next to Shelly so Amanda could sit next to Russ. Shelly thought it was strange, but she pushed it from her mind unable to assess the situation with any accuracy.
Amanda ordered a drink and they all talked. Shelly found some security being brought into the conversation on a wider range of topics and relaxed more. She ordered another drink and the four of them started to have a good time. Shelly felt a little drunk, but drank water and decided not to order any additional alcohol.
When everything wound down Shelly was excited to get home with Russ. And though Shelly may not know or understand everything she feels, she knew she needed Russ to want her, maybe more than ever in her whole life. She wasn't processing well, and then everything shifted.
Russ invited Jerry and Amanda to their house for drinks and a continuation of the festivities. Shelly couldn't object, believing her objection would make her look weak or worse like a nagging wife. And it would have. Shelly had to gut it out somehow, but was overwhelmed with feelings moving in multiple directions at once. When they arrived at the house Jerry and Amanda parked after she and Russ pulled in.
Shelly opened up the liquor cabinet waiting for everyone to relax until Russ took drink orders. He delivered Shelly's drink first, then Amanda's followed by Jerry. Everything was moving forward, but it seemed like it was slowing in Shelly's mind. Now with just the four of them, maybe she'd be able to get a read on the situation. Though Russ and she were never excessively affectionate in public, normally he'd reach out and touch her in some way to reassure her that he's with her, that he's got her back. Russ never touched her though she waited for it. She sat and listened, again unable to fully participate fully as they were back on work topics. Shelly felt totally isolated.
Shelly caught Jerry looking at her a couple of times, but passed it off until Russ recognized it and gave Shelly a nod. She wasn't sure what was going on and felt abruptly queasy again.
Amanda got up and used the powder room without asking where it was. Shelly was starting to catch on, though she wasn't sure to what. She finished her drink and asked Russ to join her in the kitchen. Russ explained that Amanda and Jerry were up for a swap. Shelly explained to Russ that Jerry and Amanda aren't married and that disqualifies them from a potential swing situation. If it was a married couple then it would be different. Russ looked at Shelly disappointingly and walked out of the kitchen leaving Shelly's mind scattering in several directions at once. Shelly entirely forgetting about Amanda and the powder room.
Shelly collected herself and when she arrived back in the living room the situation had already changed. Amanda was sitting quite comfortably next to Russ on the sofa, and Jerry was on the sofa across the coffee table. Jerry patted the sofa cushion next to him, signaling Shelly to sit down next to him. Russ never looked back at her. She didn't know what to do; the old feeling was crawling deeper inside her psyche. Shelly sat down next to Jerry, but far enough away to imply she had no intention of doing anything with him.
Meanwhile, Amanda reached up and kissed Russ sweetly right in front of Shelly. Amanda looked over at Shelly and smiled. Shelly thought immediately that they were already fucking. She knew it. It just had to be.
Shelly didn't know what to do, she felt like a squirrel in the middle of the street unable to make critical decisions swerving from side to side before a car ran it over. She refused to make out with Jerry; she really wasn't interested. She watched Amanda kiss her handsome husband and began to feel that childish defeat, conceding that life is unfair.
As soon as the notion passed through her mind she realized that yes, life is unfair and everyone knows it so don't be a child. Shelly decided that her best option was to try and chat with Jerry, keep him distracted and figure out what to do, but whatever she decides do it quickly. It won't get easier. Russ and Amanda broke and Russ got up to use the powder room.
"What do you do for a living Shelly?" Amanda asked curling her legs up behind her like a kitten.
Shelly explained that she was in sales as well. Amanda asked more questions and Shelly answered them as cordially as possible, though she didn't understand why she was being cordial to Amanda.
Russ walked back into the room and Shelly longed for him, his love and assurance and the security she once felt in that, but it wasn't there. Right then Shelly identified she hadn't really seen that in Russ for a long time. And although he was considerate these last few years, she hadn't really felt that since her life change began.
Shelly had some pride, and she wasn't going to fuck Jerry just to provide Russ the necessary permission to fuck Amanda. Shelly excused herself, saying a kind good night to everyone and retired to the shelter of the second floor. Shelly was relieved to be out of the situation with some dignity.
She took a muscle relaxer and just sat on the bed, still dressed until she picked up a book. Shelly tried to read, but her mind kept floating to what was going on downstairs. It didn't sound like anyone left, but she didn't know for sure. About an hour passed and the muscle relaxer had kicked in, which relaxed her a bit. Shelly started fidgeting wondering what was going on downstairs, but she was feeling overly emotional.
She wanted to go down; she wanted to know what was going on, but Shelly knew that faced with an emotionally unmanageable situation it may wreck her. Could she beat her own mind and stick it out on the second floor? If she went down Shelly knew her curiosity would be her undoing. She tried to close her eyes but it was no good. Her emotions were reeling and her mind was not in command of them at all. Still dressed Shelly checked her make-up, afterward wondering why she bothered, and headed down deciding to let the chips fall where they may. Shelly needed to know what she didn't want to know.
Within earshot of the family room Shelly heard strange noises, human noises but guttural sounding. When she arrived in the family room she saw Jerry crouched down in a corner naked making grunting noises while stroking his four inch penis. Shelly looked down and Russ and Amanda were below her naked, kissing and enjoying each other's bodies.
Jerry never looked up at Shelly, but was completely focused on Russ and Amanda. Eventually Russ looked up at Shelly with purposeful nonchalance. "What's up?" he asked Shelly.
"What's up? What is going on here?"
"Well, I'm screwing around with Amanda and Jerry is watching." Russ said coldly to Shelly.
"This isn't right?" Shelly responded without menace, but with a pleading sadness.
"Well it could be honey if you sat down and watched." Russ responds completely indifferent to Shelly, then returned his mouth to Amanda's straight away.
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